Preschool woes

We put Jack in preschool a year ahead of schedule. We knew that he knew enough academically but we wanted to really help him from a social standpoint. He always enjoyed being with adults and being the center of attention, but would clam up when around large groups of kids. We thought that by forcing him into these situations, he would really mature socially. Though he cried the first few days, he seemed pretty happy. In playdates he was warming up more quickly and when I accompanied Jack to the school's holiday party in December, I was excited to see this little boy barge into the room, happily greeting people. When I spoke with his teacher, she mentioned that he had really been improving and called it "heartwarming." When I asked her if Jack talked her ear off, she smiled and nodded her head knowingly.

Last week, I had to take a day off of school to complete some testing for grad school. It was a Thursday and I was excited to be able to take Jack to school myself. We arrived and he showed me where to hang his backpack. His teacher then approached me to tell me about a few concerns regarding Jack. Apparently she has some concerns about Jack's social and verbal development. She claimed that he was acting like he couldn't do tasks and was acting confused. In addition, instead of conversing with the other kids, he would just repeat what they said back.

I left pretty concerned. Not that I really thought something was wrong with him.--at home we can't get him to shut up. The kid kicks me out of the bathroom to wash his hands in private yet acts like he's never done it before at school. But I was concerned that he wasn't having a good time. I thought about it all weekend and called his teacher the following Monday to discuss some of my theories. She was quick to interrupt and get a little defensive. When I made reference to him being more passive, she told me he was very happy and comfortable. I was a bit confused from all of the mixed messages. According to the teacher, he is doing great academically. Yet how would she know this if he didn't talk. He was happy and comfortable, yet wouldn't talk to anyone. His teacher told me she would send home a list of the benchmarks and indicate the ones Jack needed work on.

Imagine my surprise when her concerns included him not knowing 5-50 words or being able to express himself or being able to follow simple directions. This is the same kid who, when I asked him if he was my boy, said, "Actually, I am." Something just doesn't make sense. So now I'm half defensive and half bewildered but with no real way to help him improve. I thought of every possible scenario: he's bored (how could he be bored, he doesn't know anything), he's not getting enough one on one attention, something happened with one of the kids, etc. I was convinced we should switch schools. I vacilated between thinking my instincts were correct and thinking I could practically hear my rotor blades cutting through the wind.

In the end, we have decided to switch schools. I am not saying that anything is wrong with the school he is in but, clearly, it just isn't working for him. He has never once come home excitedly talking about something that went on at school. And this is the kid who gets excited about everything and remembers everything! He still tells us how fun the harbor by my parents' house is. Hopefully we'll find something that is a better fit. At the very least, however, we will see if this behavior continues at a new school . In the meantime, I hope that his excellent memory forgets the fact that he was in the room when I debated w/ Paul as to whether this uncharacteristic behavior is the product of a crazy teacher or an environment issue. Let's just hope Jack doesn't pick tomorrow to reveal his verbal talents by telling everyone that, "Miss Nancy is smoking the crack pipe."

The first day she told me that he w