The other day, I asked Jack what he liked the most about his sister. He replied, "That she makes me laugh." I then asked him what he liked least. "That she bothers me sometimes," he said. This would exactly be my answer as well. Dani jumps into everything feet first, makes major waves and makes you laugh so hard, you can't ever truly be mad at her.
--Dani has a cold. Jack did something to make her mad. She waited a bit before walking up to him and coughing right on him on purpose.
--Dani wanted to give Jack another hug before bed. She sprinted into his room and jumped on him, embracing him and squealing with delight. He responded in kind. She pulled away and headed back to her room before thinking better of it, turning around and pinching him right on the arm before racing back to her room with a devilish grin on her face.
--This is an actual conversation we had:
Jack: I'm scared of skeletons.
Me: Don't be scared. They aren't scary.
Jack: Can you kick 'em in the butt?
Me: You can kick them anywhere and they'll just break.
Dani: Kick 'em in the penis.
That's my girl.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Dani Loves School
Dani has loved school from the moment it started. She never cried once. In fact, when I asked her if she missed me when she was at school, she didn't hesitate when she said, "No!"
She went on her first field trip to the pumpkin patch this month. And she was not the least bit shy about anything. On the hayride out to the patch, Dani decided it was imperative to talk to her teacher. She told Grandma that she had to talk to Mrs. Nabi. Carmen told her to wait until the ride stopped. Dani kept bugging her until she realized that it was useless. So she screamed down the length of the wagon, "MRS. NABI!! I have a question for you."
Later on the hayride, a mother fought with her daughter to put on her coat. The girl made a fit but the mom kept forcing her arms into sleeves. Dani turned to the mom and told her, "Why are you doing that? It's not even cold."
Dani's self-confidence never ceases to amaze us. Sometimes it's embarrassing, as with the aforementioned mom. Other times, it makes me so proud, knowing that my Dani is never going to put up with crap from anyone. Unfortunately, that probably also includes me. At the conclusion of the pumpkin patch field trip, the kids all flocked to the store. Most of them wanted popcorn and candy. Not Dani. She set her eye on a white plastic rat with red eyes. And once she had it in her hands, she refused to see anything else. Another little girl came up to her, questioning her selection. "Why did you get that rat? Why don't you get popcorn?" she asked. Dani replied matter-of-factly, "I can have popcorn at my house whenever I want."
Take that, kid.
She went on her first field trip to the pumpkin patch this month. And she was not the least bit shy about anything. On the hayride out to the patch, Dani decided it was imperative to talk to her teacher. She told Grandma that she had to talk to Mrs. Nabi. Carmen told her to wait until the ride stopped. Dani kept bugging her until she realized that it was useless. So she screamed down the length of the wagon, "MRS. NABI!! I have a question for you."
Later on the hayride, a mother fought with her daughter to put on her coat. The girl made a fit but the mom kept forcing her arms into sleeves. Dani turned to the mom and told her, "Why are you doing that? It's not even cold."
Dani's self-confidence never ceases to amaze us. Sometimes it's embarrassing, as with the aforementioned mom. Other times, it makes me so proud, knowing that my Dani is never going to put up with crap from anyone. Unfortunately, that probably also includes me. At the conclusion of the pumpkin patch field trip, the kids all flocked to the store. Most of them wanted popcorn and candy. Not Dani. She set her eye on a white plastic rat with red eyes. And once she had it in her hands, she refused to see anything else. Another little girl came up to her, questioning her selection. "Why did you get that rat? Why don't you get popcorn?" she asked. Dani replied matter-of-factly, "I can have popcorn at my house whenever I want."
Take that, kid.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Dani's First Day of School
Dani's start to school went a bit differently than Jack's. Dani's preschool eases kids into it. The first day is for one hour and is with a parent/grandparent. The next three days are for one hour alone. Where Jack is passive in new situations, Dani jumps in with both feet. She's always been my "I'll figure it out once I get there" kid.
On day one, she played with Grandma and had some fun. She also raised her hand to answer questions quite a bit. At one point, she raised her hand to tell the teacher (and the class) that the girl who had given the answer was wrong and then she supplied the correct answer.
On day two, she didn't cry at all as Grandma dropped her off and left her there to her own devices. She has already informed me that she loves her teachers. She is also happy that they are both girls. She wants everyone and everything to be a girl . Fortunately, her class is girl heavy.
I can't wait to see how she does at school and what she learns. She's an amazing little kid. I've never seen a kid her age have such confidence. I certainly hope it will serve her well rather than lead her into a series of time outs at school!
On day one, she played with Grandma and had some fun. She also raised her hand to answer questions quite a bit. At one point, she raised her hand to tell the teacher (and the class) that the girl who had given the answer was wrong and then she supplied the correct answer.
On day two, she didn't cry at all as Grandma dropped her off and left her there to her own devices. She has already informed me that she loves her teachers. She is also happy that they are both girls. She wants everyone and everything to be a girl . Fortunately, her class is girl heavy.
I can't wait to see how she does at school and what she learns. She's an amazing little kid. I've never seen a kid her age have such confidence. I certainly hope it will serve her well rather than lead her into a series of time outs at school!
Dani with her first day of school book
Kindergarten
Jack started kindergarten on Wednesday, August 13. I can't decide who was more excited--me or him. We had met his teacher the day before and he was super excited to get started. We picked out his outfit and packed his lunch and I was so happy that school hadn't yet started for me so I could take him his first few days. In the morning, I gave him his book. Our tradition has been to give Jack (and now Dani) a book that we sign and date on his first day of each school year. I drove him and was able to walk him into school and stay in the class for awhile with the rest of the parents. He looked so small walking the hallways, but he was excited and didn't seem overwhelmed at all. His teacher was welcoming and Jack naturally ran and got a spot front and center so he could be near the teacher. The teacher started by giving each student a name tag. She wanted to introduce the kids but also see how well they recognized their letters and their names. She picked up a name tag with "Axel" on it and commented on how the name was unique and asked if anyone could guess it. Jack yelled out, "Alex." Teacher was impressed that he was obviously already reading. When she held up "Brody" minutes later and Jack said the name, she said, "Wow. You're already learning how to read." Jack responded matter-of-factly, "I can read."
Shortly after the doling out of name tags, we were asked to leave. I couldn't wait to pick my little guy up. When he got in the car, the first thing he said was, "I cried a little today. I missed you." He was also upset because he didn't get to have as much recess because he took too long to finish his lunch. He informed me that this also made him cry. I asked him if he saw his lunch mail that I had sent in his lunch box. In the excitement of the day, he had missed the letter. He read it out loud in the car and then looked at me sweetly and said, "That's beautiful."
We talked about the day and then as night got closer, he got progressively more sad, claiming he didn't want to go back to school. After I tucked him in, I heard him upstairs in his room sobbing. It was completely heartbreaking. I went to lay down with him and he said that the day was just too long and he missed me too much. In the morning, he was in tears again, begging not to go to school and claiming he had a stomachache.
Even though he claimed that he had fun after I picked him up that day, he still said he didn't want to go back and the sadness grew. At night, he cried and cried in bed. I laid with him, trying to hold back my own tears, my heart breaking as I tried to pump him up and convince him that he would be fine and that new things are always scary.
On Friday, I wrote his teacher an e-mail. My biggest fear has always been that Jack will get swallowed up by his own shyness. He isn't like the other boys, and I mean that in the best possible way. He is sensitive, sweet, and kind. He doesn't goof off or wrestle with the other kids. He'll never cause an ounce of trouble. He's also so smart. I was afraid that he wouldn't get any attention--negative or positive because the teacher's attention would be directed at misbehaving kids or kids struggling with concepts. Jack is an amazing boy who is so worth knowing, but he doesn't always let people know him. At least not right away.
Fortunately, his teacher is excellent and assured me that he would be fine and that she would be looking out for him. A week later, he became a different kid. He loves school and his wonderful teacher. She had him tested for reading the first day of school and we have learned that he is already reading at first grade level. He spends reading time practicing with a girl in his class-the only other one who can read at his level. His teacher gave him a job in the library and he was also selected as the class's first VIP. In sum, Jack's teacher did so much to help him feel special and important and his confidence has grown.
He's still nowhere near the most boisterous boy in class and he still hasn't mentioned finding a special friend to hang out with. But he's happy and he's having fun and I know that, if he can't be in our hands, he's in the best hands possible. Which is exactly what this sweet boy deserves.
Shortly after the doling out of name tags, we were asked to leave. I couldn't wait to pick my little guy up. When he got in the car, the first thing he said was, "I cried a little today. I missed you." He was also upset because he didn't get to have as much recess because he took too long to finish his lunch. He informed me that this also made him cry. I asked him if he saw his lunch mail that I had sent in his lunch box. In the excitement of the day, he had missed the letter. He read it out loud in the car and then looked at me sweetly and said, "That's beautiful."
We talked about the day and then as night got closer, he got progressively more sad, claiming he didn't want to go back to school. After I tucked him in, I heard him upstairs in his room sobbing. It was completely heartbreaking. I went to lay down with him and he said that the day was just too long and he missed me too much. In the morning, he was in tears again, begging not to go to school and claiming he had a stomachache.
Even though he claimed that he had fun after I picked him up that day, he still said he didn't want to go back and the sadness grew. At night, he cried and cried in bed. I laid with him, trying to hold back my own tears, my heart breaking as I tried to pump him up and convince him that he would be fine and that new things are always scary.
On Friday, I wrote his teacher an e-mail. My biggest fear has always been that Jack will get swallowed up by his own shyness. He isn't like the other boys, and I mean that in the best possible way. He is sensitive, sweet, and kind. He doesn't goof off or wrestle with the other kids. He'll never cause an ounce of trouble. He's also so smart. I was afraid that he wouldn't get any attention--negative or positive because the teacher's attention would be directed at misbehaving kids or kids struggling with concepts. Jack is an amazing boy who is so worth knowing, but he doesn't always let people know him. At least not right away.
Fortunately, his teacher is excellent and assured me that he would be fine and that she would be looking out for him. A week later, he became a different kid. He loves school and his wonderful teacher. She had him tested for reading the first day of school and we have learned that he is already reading at first grade level. He spends reading time practicing with a girl in his class-the only other one who can read at his level. His teacher gave him a job in the library and he was also selected as the class's first VIP. In sum, Jack's teacher did so much to help him feel special and important and his confidence has grown.
He's still nowhere near the most boisterous boy in class and he still hasn't mentioned finding a special friend to hang out with. But he's happy and he's having fun and I know that, if he can't be in our hands, he's in the best hands possible. Which is exactly what this sweet boy deserves.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Games
My kids both love games. It's great, because Paul and I both love games. Jack has always been into them because he is fiercely and often annoyingly competitive and has always had a ridiculous attention span. Dani--not so much. But she is getting much better and now likes paying attention for more than 1 consecutive minute. She really enjoys games. Her favorites are Sneaky Snacky Squirrel, Candyland, and Monopoly (Bonopoly). She's not competitive at all and doesn't care if she loses. And therefore, she usually kicks everyone's butt. But there are two things she cares very deeply about in the board game world. And if these two things don't happen, all bets are off.
Candyland
Candyland's rules are about as basic as they come. Draw a card and advance to the color shown. But there are also treat cards. Those are pink and if you draw one, you immediately go to that space. This can be good, if you are near the beginning of the game, or really bad, if you are near the end and get a pink card that takes you backwards. Getting one of the pink cards is the only way your progress doesn't go forward in the game. On each of the pink cards there is a treat: Gingerbread man, popsicle, lollipop, cupcake, etc. Dani doesn't care if she wins. She just wants that bloody cupcake. It just so happens, the cupcake is the closest pink space to the beginning, which means if you are anywhere past that, you don't want the cupcake. Unless your name is Dani. If you are Dani, and you are one space from winning, you want that cupcake. If you are Dani, and someone else gets the cupcake card, you lose your ever-loving mind. It's awesome. And by awesome, I mean, horrifyingly awful.
Monopoly
We don't have standard Monopoly, we have a kid version. Instead of deeds to property, you win various parties (Ice skating party, Princess party, Beach party, etc.) If you land on one, you don't get the choice, you have to buy it. If you are Dani, you want the Pizza Party. If you are Dani and you have every other party on the board, you are not happy because you don't have the Pizza Party. If you are not Dani, and you HAVE the Pizza party, you wish you were Dani because she is going to make your life absolute hell until you give her the damn Pizza Party card.
Anyone want to come over for Game Night?
Candyland
Candyland's rules are about as basic as they come. Draw a card and advance to the color shown. But there are also treat cards. Those are pink and if you draw one, you immediately go to that space. This can be good, if you are near the beginning of the game, or really bad, if you are near the end and get a pink card that takes you backwards. Getting one of the pink cards is the only way your progress doesn't go forward in the game. On each of the pink cards there is a treat: Gingerbread man, popsicle, lollipop, cupcake, etc. Dani doesn't care if she wins. She just wants that bloody cupcake. It just so happens, the cupcake is the closest pink space to the beginning, which means if you are anywhere past that, you don't want the cupcake. Unless your name is Dani. If you are Dani, and you are one space from winning, you want that cupcake. If you are Dani, and someone else gets the cupcake card, you lose your ever-loving mind. It's awesome. And by awesome, I mean, horrifyingly awful.
Monopoly
We don't have standard Monopoly, we have a kid version. Instead of deeds to property, you win various parties (Ice skating party, Princess party, Beach party, etc.) If you land on one, you don't get the choice, you have to buy it. If you are Dani, you want the Pizza Party. If you are Dani and you have every other party on the board, you are not happy because you don't have the Pizza Party. If you are not Dani, and you HAVE the Pizza party, you wish you were Dani because she is going to make your life absolute hell until you give her the damn Pizza Party card.
Anyone want to come over for Game Night?
Dani's voice
Dani's voice has always been amazing. It's kind of like the voice of a little girl who swallowed a parrot. She's a little squawky and it sounds adorable. I don't want her voice to ever change but I realize it may not sound quite as charming coming out of the mouth of a 30 year old, so I'll allow it. But she is getting more and more articulate with each day and the her misspoken words that I so loved are now correct, and nowhere near as interesting. Let's take a little before and after look down Dani's linguistic memory lane...
Spaghetti = Sup-a-getti
Strawberry = doughboy
princess = princense
octopus = opp-a-pus
crocodile = crock-o-waddle
Sigh. My baby girl is growing up. At least we still have bah-zahn-ya-la (lasagna).
Spaghetti = Sup-a-getti
Strawberry = doughboy
princess = princense
octopus = opp-a-pus
crocodile = crock-o-waddle
Sigh. My baby girl is growing up. At least we still have bah-zahn-ya-la (lasagna).
Thursday, June 19, 2014
World Cup Fever
I don't really like soccer. I never watch it and I don't understand all the rules. But I LOVE the World Cup. Paul does as well and this past week, he has turned Jack onto it as well. As I mentioned, I was in Cincinnati this week and though I couldn't see the kids, I had some pretty great conversations with them. Jack loved telling me who won each of the matches and had even perfected his Spanish accent for the Spanish-speaking countries. Below are snippets of our conversation:
Jack: Chile is playing Spain.
Me: And who do you want to win?
Jack (to Paul): Who do we want to win?
Jack (to me): We want Chile to win because they're the underdogs.
Me: Oh. Do you know what an underdog is?
Jack: No.
Me: It's the team that no one thinks is going to win, the team that isn't supposed to win. And the other team is better and should win. And people usually like when the team that no one thinks is going to win actually wins.
Jack: Oh. (long pause) I have no idea what that means.
-----------
Me: Who is your favorite team?
Jack: Germany.
Me: Why?
Jack: Because you like them.
Me: Yes. But I like the United States too. I want them to win and I want Germany to win.
Jack: Yes. Germany plays Ghana and the United States plays Portugal and we want Germany and the United States to both win.
Me: Yes. But on June 26th, Germany plays the United States. Who do you want to win then?
Jack: Oh! (long pause) Well, I want them to tie because then they both win.
(This kid is a genius.)
Me: Yes. But then they both lose too.
Jack: Hmmm. When Germany plays the United States, we'll have to think about who we want to win, don't we??
Jack: Chile is playing Spain.
Me: And who do you want to win?
Jack (to Paul): Who do we want to win?
Jack (to me): We want Chile to win because they're the underdogs.
Me: Oh. Do you know what an underdog is?
Jack: No.
Me: It's the team that no one thinks is going to win, the team that isn't supposed to win. And the other team is better and should win. And people usually like when the team that no one thinks is going to win actually wins.
Jack: Oh. (long pause) I have no idea what that means.
-----------
Me: Who is your favorite team?
Jack: Germany.
Me: Why?
Jack: Because you like them.
Me: Yes. But I like the United States too. I want them to win and I want Germany to win.
Jack: Yes. Germany plays Ghana and the United States plays Portugal and we want Germany and the United States to both win.
Me: Yes. But on June 26th, Germany plays the United States. Who do you want to win then?
Jack: Oh! (long pause) Well, I want them to tie because then they both win.
(This kid is a genius.)
Me: Yes. But then they both lose too.
Jack: Hmmm. When Germany plays the United States, we'll have to think about who we want to win, don't we??
The Amazing Jack
Jack never ceases to amaze us with how mature he is. We joke all the time that we don't need to ever worry about finding a babysitter--Jack can just take care of it. We saw that several times this past week when I was out of town in Ohio. Paul had single dad duty for a week while I went to Cincinnati to help grade AP exams. I always hate leaving them because 1) they are adorable and I hate not seeing them each day and 2) it is a lot to leave to one parent. I am fortunate that Paul understands and is a great dad and can handle it!
We had celebrated Father's Day the Sunday before I left since I would be out of town on the actual day. But I told Jack to try and remember to wish Paul a happy Father's day on Sunday. On Sunday, Paul heard Dani start to stir but when she got quiet again, he fell back to sleep. When he woke up a little later, he noticed both kids were not in their rooms. When he got downstairs, Jack and Dani were playing on the iPad and Jack had gotten Dani some juice. When Jack saw Paul, he smiled a huge grin and said, "Happy Father's Day, Dad!" It was the perfect morning present he could have given Paul.
He one-upped himself a couple of days later. Paul again heard Dani but fell back asleep. He awoke to the clinking of utensils and Jack telling Dani to wash her hands. When he got downstairs, both kids were at the kitchen table eating the cereal Jack had prepared. The kid is ridiculous. And sweet.
We had celebrated Father's Day the Sunday before I left since I would be out of town on the actual day. But I told Jack to try and remember to wish Paul a happy Father's day on Sunday. On Sunday, Paul heard Dani start to stir but when she got quiet again, he fell back to sleep. When he woke up a little later, he noticed both kids were not in their rooms. When he got downstairs, Jack and Dani were playing on the iPad and Jack had gotten Dani some juice. When Jack saw Paul, he smiled a huge grin and said, "Happy Father's Day, Dad!" It was the perfect morning present he could have given Paul.
He one-upped himself a couple of days later. Paul again heard Dani but fell back asleep. He awoke to the clinking of utensils and Jack telling Dani to wash her hands. When he got downstairs, both kids were at the kitchen table eating the cereal Jack had prepared. The kid is ridiculous. And sweet.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
More short cuts
I have been a terrible blogger because I am busy. Because I am busy, I tend to write quick updates on Facebook with little stories of the cute things the kids do and say. So it's almost like Facebook has done the work this blog was intended to do. So I've decided that the best way to catch up and perhaps get back to blogging on a more regular basis is to copy the FB posts up until now. Here goes:
01/12/13
04/24/13
Me: Jack, you're weird. How come you're so weird?
Jack: Because you're weird.
04/30/13
Jack and I sat down for a popcorn snack and a chat about school and his hesitancy to engage the other kids:
Me: So you went outside? What did you do?
Jack: I played ball and I made a goal.
Me: Did you play with other kids? (J.shakes his head.) Buddy, I want you to go talk with the other kids and ask them to play.
Jack: But I just want to play by myself. (Long pause). Just eat your popcorn and don't worry about it.
06/10/13
Paul bought some more fruit on his grocery run today.
Jack: Ooohhh! Thank you, Daddy for buying that. I love apples and bananas and pears! Thank you! You wanna know what I'm gonna have? (Long pause). Grapes.
06/13/13
I think Jack misses me. Today, we talked on the phone. After about 2 1/2 minutes of conversation, he informed me, "Okay, that's a lot of talking. Gotta go!"
06/20/13
Me: Don't you want to go on the potty?
Dani: No. I don't want to.
Me: Why? You're a big girl.
Dani: No, I'm not.
Me: Then what are you?
Dani: I'm Dani.
06/22/13
My children have come up with a new game called "Time Out," in which they give each other time outs for various fictitious reasons. This game comes complete with fake crying. It's pretty awesome. And it's showing me just how effective Time Outs are in the Soto household.
06/27/13
This morning:
Jack: Mom? I've got a BIG problem.
Me: What is it?
Jack: The kitty doesn't have any hands.
07/02/13
Stopped at Monkey Joe's in Indiana so the kids could burn some energy. Dani was having so much fun and was quite displeased when I pulled her away to change her diaper. She cried and declared, "This is NOT gonna be awesome!" For you and me both, kid. How 'bout that whole potty thing?
07/02/13
We usually don't let the kids watch TV while they eat, but we are getting the car ready for our trip. When I suggested a different seat to Jack so he could see better while he ate, he said, "Yes, I'll sit there so I can see your beautiful face." This kid is a keeper.
07/05/13
Jack is refusing to play Old Maid because he doesn't want to get "that stinky girl."
07/10/13
Jack (from the bathroom): Oh my goodness, what did I do?
Me: What did you do?
Jack: I just peed all over myself.
Moments later as I am helping him get dressed...
Me: Did you wash your hands or was that pee you just wiped on me?
Jack: Um....pee.
07/17/13
We were going to meet my Mom and Dad and the kids while they were out. Dani was excitedly yelling for us prior to our arrival. A car like ours pulled up and she screamed, "It's Mommy," just before a bearded man with an earring got out. She turned to my Mom and stated, "That's not Mommy, that's a sir!" Apparently all of this sir and ma'aming here in the South has gotten to her.
7/20/13
And now deep thoughts with Jack Soto:
"Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news is I love Nonny's kitty so much. The bad news is you dropped a carrot."
If this is as bad as news gets according to Jack, I think we're going to be just fine.
07/21/13
Jack was eating just the bun of his burger. For the umpteenth time, I warned him he better eat the meat too. He told me, "You already told me. If you say it again, I'm not gonna eat it and you don't want THAT!"
Checkmate.
07/26/13
Yesterday, we told the kids we were going to the zoo in the morning, and that it was a zoo where you could go in the cages/areas with some of the animals. This clearly didn't fully register in Dani's two year old mind, since she woke up, excitedly declaring, "We goin' to da zoo! We gonna put Mommy in a cage!"
07/29/13
Jack went to the bathroom and then went to go wash his hands without flushing.
Me: Hey! You need to flush when you're done.
Jack: I don't want to. You do it.
Me: No, you can do it. You're a big boy.
Jack: Well, you're a big girl
08/12/13
Jack: Dani, you're my best girl.
Dani: Senk you.
Jack: I love you.
Dani: I wuv you.
And they didn't even know I was listening!
09/07/13
Jack the geography nerd is now comparing the sizes of the members of the family. According to Jack (who "is medium like Germany"), Paul is "big like China, Mommy's like India, and Dani's Rwanda."
At this rate he'll either have no friends or he'll befriend every foreign exchange student at school.
09/28/13
At breakfast the kids were briefly arguing.
Jack: Dani, don't talk bad to me. You're my best friend and I love you.
Dani: Gimme kiss!
11/11/13
Arguments in the Soto house:
Dani: You're a pretzel.
Jack: No, I'm not.
Dani: Yes, you're a pretzel.
Jack: Fine, then you're Zimbabwe.
11/14/13
I was upstairs and overheard Jack trying to teach Dani the names of the states.
Jack: Say "North Dakota."
Dani: I don't wanna.
Jack: But Dani, you have to. It's really important. Don't you want to grow? You have to learn!
11/19/13
Jack was hiding his toy car and giving us clues as to its whereabouts. He put it on top of Paul's head (I didn't say this was a challenging game.):
Jack: Okay, it's on something black.
Paul (with car on head): Mommy's coat?
Jack: Nope. Clue #2: It's on something handsome.
01/12/14
Me: When are you going to go on the potty?
Dani: Ummm...in 10 weeks.
01/17/14
On the way to school today, Jack wanted to practice doing math problems. About 5 minutes into it, Dani started screaming, "NO! NO!!Stop it! No more math! I don't wanna do math!!!" This child IS me.
01/17/14
My daughter has the cutest voice in the world. I never want it to change. I would, however, enjoy an improvement in her articulation of words. Today, after examining her belt, she attempted to say, "Mom, there's a little bit of a hole." What came out was, "Mom, you're a little bit of a ho."
01/18/14
Jack: Mom, you know there's another name for China. Do you know what it is?
Me: No, what?
Jack: Well, it's The People's Republic of China.
01/23/14
Jack: Mom, you're Colorado, just like me. Daddy's Wyoming.
Me: What? Why?
Jack: 'Cause Daddy's orange and we're green.
It took us quite a while to figure out that we were wearing those colors and that orange and green are the colors of Wyoming and Colorado on the map of the U.S. hanging in his room. My kid is weird. And I love it.
01/12/13
04/24/13
Me: Jack, you're weird. How come you're so weird?
Jack: Because you're weird.
04/30/13
Jack and I sat down for a popcorn snack and a chat about school and his hesitancy to engage the other kids:
Me: So you went outside? What did you do?
Jack: I played ball and I made a goal.
Me: Did you play with other kids? (J.shakes his head.) Buddy, I want you to go talk with the other kids and ask them to play.
Jack: But I just want to play by myself. (Long pause). Just eat your popcorn and don't worry about it.
06/10/13
Paul bought some more fruit on his grocery run today.
Jack: Ooohhh! Thank you, Daddy for buying that. I love apples and bananas and pears! Thank you! You wanna know what I'm gonna have? (Long pause). Grapes.
06/13/13
I think Jack misses me. Today, we talked on the phone. After about 2 1/2 minutes of conversation, he informed me, "Okay, that's a lot of talking. Gotta go!"
06/20/13
Me: Don't you want to go on the potty?
Dani: No. I don't want to.
Me: Why? You're a big girl.
Dani: No, I'm not.
Me: Then what are you?
Dani: I'm Dani.
06/22/13
My children have come up with a new game called "Time Out," in which they give each other time outs for various fictitious reasons. This game comes complete with fake crying. It's pretty awesome. And it's showing me just how effective Time Outs are in the Soto household.
06/27/13
This morning:
Jack: Mom? I've got a BIG problem.
Me: What is it?
Jack: The kitty doesn't have any hands.
07/02/13
Stopped at Monkey Joe's in Indiana so the kids could burn some energy. Dani was having so much fun and was quite displeased when I pulled her away to change her diaper. She cried and declared, "This is NOT gonna be awesome!" For you and me both, kid. How 'bout that whole potty thing?
07/02/13
We usually don't let the kids watch TV while they eat, but we are getting the car ready for our trip. When I suggested a different seat to Jack so he could see better while he ate, he said, "Yes, I'll sit there so I can see your beautiful face." This kid is a keeper.
07/05/13
Jack is refusing to play Old Maid because he doesn't want to get "that stinky girl."
07/10/13
Jack (from the bathroom): Oh my goodness, what did I do?
Me: What did you do?
Jack: I just peed all over myself.
Moments later as I am helping him get dressed...
Me: Did you wash your hands or was that pee you just wiped on me?
Jack: Um....pee.
07/17/13
We were going to meet my Mom and Dad and the kids while they were out. Dani was excitedly yelling for us prior to our arrival. A car like ours pulled up and she screamed, "It's Mommy," just before a bearded man with an earring got out. She turned to my Mom and stated, "That's not Mommy, that's a sir!" Apparently all of this sir and ma'aming here in the South has gotten to her.
7/20/13
And now deep thoughts with Jack Soto:
"Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news is I love Nonny's kitty so much. The bad news is you dropped a carrot."
If this is as bad as news gets according to Jack, I think we're going to be just fine.
07/21/13
Jack was eating just the bun of his burger. For the umpteenth time, I warned him he better eat the meat too. He told me, "You already told me. If you say it again, I'm not gonna eat it and you don't want THAT!"
Checkmate.
07/26/13
Yesterday, we told the kids we were going to the zoo in the morning, and that it was a zoo where you could go in the cages/areas with some of the animals. This clearly didn't fully register in Dani's two year old mind, since she woke up, excitedly declaring, "We goin' to da zoo! We gonna put Mommy in a cage!"
07/29/13
Jack went to the bathroom and then went to go wash his hands without flushing.
Me: Hey! You need to flush when you're done.
Jack: I don't want to. You do it.
Me: No, you can do it. You're a big boy.
Jack: Well, you're a big girl
08/12/13
Jack: Dani, you're my best girl.
Dani: Senk you.
Jack: I love you.
Dani: I wuv you.
And they didn't even know I was listening!
09/07/13
Jack the geography nerd is now comparing the sizes of the members of the family. According to Jack (who "is medium like Germany"), Paul is "big like China, Mommy's like India, and Dani's Rwanda."
At this rate he'll either have no friends or he'll befriend every foreign exchange student at school.
09/28/13
At breakfast the kids were briefly arguing.
Jack: Dani, don't talk bad to me. You're my best friend and I love you.
Dani: Gimme kiss!
11/11/13
Arguments in the Soto house:
Dani: You're a pretzel.
Jack: No, I'm not.
Dani: Yes, you're a pretzel.
Jack: Fine, then you're Zimbabwe.
11/14/13
I was upstairs and overheard Jack trying to teach Dani the names of the states.
Jack: Say "North Dakota."
Dani: I don't wanna.
Jack: But Dani, you have to. It's really important. Don't you want to grow? You have to learn!
11/19/13
Jack was hiding his toy car and giving us clues as to its whereabouts. He put it on top of Paul's head (I didn't say this was a challenging game.):
Jack: Okay, it's on something black.
Paul (with car on head): Mommy's coat?
Jack: Nope. Clue #2: It's on something handsome.
01/12/14
Me: When are you going to go on the potty?
Dani: Ummm...in 10 weeks.
01/17/14
On the way to school today, Jack wanted to practice doing math problems. About 5 minutes into it, Dani started screaming, "NO! NO!!Stop it! No more math! I don't wanna do math!!!" This child IS me.
01/17/14
My daughter has the cutest voice in the world. I never want it to change. I would, however, enjoy an improvement in her articulation of words. Today, after examining her belt, she attempted to say, "Mom, there's a little bit of a hole." What came out was, "Mom, you're a little bit of a ho."
01/18/14
Jack: Mom, you know there's another name for China. Do you know what it is?
Me: No, what?
Jack: Well, it's The People's Republic of China.
01/23/14
Jack: Mom, you're Colorado, just like me. Daddy's Wyoming.
Me: What? Why?
Jack: 'Cause Daddy's orange and we're green.
It took us quite a while to figure out that we were wearing those colors and that orange and green are the colors of Wyoming and Colorado on the map of the U.S. hanging in his room. My kid is weird. And I love it.
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